- This job sucks balls. Not even human balls, but the balls of some obscure animal in Africa. Kindly take it and shove it up an orrufus on your body of your choosing.
- The numerous times I have laughed and made fun of you behind your back have almost made the crappiness of this job worth suffering through. Almost, but not quite.
- Thank you kindly for the opportunity to work here. However, given the present circumstances, I no longer feel masochistic enough to force myself to continue to work here.
- At this point in my life it is time that I move on to other things. Things that may or may not involve pie...I haven't decided yet.
- You would be more useful as a manager if you just sat around criticising people and slept with the waitresses. I know I know, that's all you do as it is, but...erm...uhh...I forget my point...
- I think you might be gay and I feel no shame in having told everybody who came into the restaurant my thoughts.
- Here is a gift certificate for some counselling. You don't have to thank me, I just thought you should have it for...you know...your thing with fish...I didn't tell anybody...well nobody really...
- I would rather have a papsmear with a rake than continue to work here.
- For every time you slapped my ass when I walked by I slipped a cockroach into your food
- I truly appreciate your guidance and the new skills you have taught me. Thanks to you, I can now successfully: hire based on breast size, berate customers behind their backs, sexually harass the staff, and sit around doing nothing while everybody else works harder to compensate for my lack of effort. These universal skills will no doubt assist in furthering my career no matter what direction it takes. Thank you...truly.
Sarcasm...where would we be without you.
Hope I helped Laura, good luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment