Monday, December 22, 2008

Home Sweet Hotel Room

Today has been a gong show.  

Why is it that every year I fly home for the holidays (and by every year, I mean this year and last year) there has to be some ridiculous snow storm exactly when I am traveling? Is mother nature so cruel that she would send her frozen fury right at the time that everyone wants to travel for the holidays? Is she bitter that she doesn't have a family to visit for Christmas, and is taking it out on us? No Father Nature to cozy up to? No little mini-natures running around the...uhh...earth or sky?

Today started out with me being worried I was going to miss my flight at 4:40 p.m. Turns out I didn't have to worry at all. I could have even stayed home for a few more hours. My flight didn't leave until 9:30 p.m. This would be all well and fine if it was a direct flight to Hamilton.  Except this flight was only 36 minutes to Calgary, where I was supposed to catch a connecting flight to Hamilton. The connecting flight did wait, but not long enough. So here I am using a hotel voucher from Westjet at the Travelodge, which I arrived at with my voucher for a taxi from Westjet. Do I have a flight tomorrow? Nope. What did they say to do? Call between 10 a.m. and noon. WHAT!? I just tried calling Westjet and got a message along the lines of "Due to the immense amount of phone calls Westjet is experiencing, our phone system is not capable of holding your call. Please try again later." 

Honestly, I don't even mind the delay itself. There is no rush to get home as long as it's before Christmas. What upsets me is that my flight hasn't been rescheduled. And I'm sure any remaining flights to get anywhere in southern Ontario between now and Christmas are booked solid. And all I can think about is that I'm going to end up spending Christmas in neither of my homes, but in a Calgary hotel room. And that thought is so depressing that I may have to break into the mini bar. Actually I don't even see one in this room. Probably a good thing right now.

I have to say, so far, and despite what I have written, I'm proud of myself for taking all of this so well. Up until I found out my flight wasn't rescheduled, I was doing great. I was even laughing at the ridiculous things other pissed off travelers were saying. "You know it's all Westjet's fault right? They new from the beginning it was going to be delayed that long. They just kept delaying the flight by 30 minutes so we wouldn't get upset."  Now with this logic, either Westjet is incredibly stupid as obviously people would be more upset in the end, or the person who told me is immensely stupid for believing a conspiracy theory between Westjet and it's customers. I'm going with the latter.

What really gets me is the people who think they have a right to scream and complain to anyone wearing a westjet uniform.  When the customer service desk rep was asked when another rep was coming to help him with the insanely long line, he said soon, and some huge jackass behind me in line actually had the nerve to yell out "'Soon' according to Westjet means an hour and a half." This was after he discussed with someone how in "flight attendant school" they have a special course for time terminology (such as soon=an hour and a half). He also advised not to ask too many questions because they wouldn't be able to understand. I finally turned around and faced his immense beer belly and said "They're doing everything they can. There's no need to be a jerk!" He nodded and, I think, concentrated on not tearing me a new one. Anyone who thinks that Westjet intentionally delayed the flights and caused the chaos at the airport is off their rocker.  I wish that full grown adults had the maturity to realize hey, it sucks for everybody. Snowstorms screw up flights. It happens. Deal with your anger in a "grown up" way instead of complaining and screaming at people. 

Some funny things have occurred through all of this.  It was the first time I had seen a roll call done on a flight. We all raised our hands as we heard our name, just like in grade school. I wanted to yell out "PRESENT!!" but lost my nerve.  My favourite part was when they asked if Ryan Hays was on board;

Stewardess: Is there a Ryan Hays on board? Can you raise your hand please? Ok, I see two hands there. I only need one for Ryan Hays. Thank you.
I guess one was Ryan Hays, and one just really wanted to be Ryan Hays??

Other things that happened:
  • Got "randomly selected" to be padded down by security. A VERY thorough pat down, mind you. I had to swallow back "So...are you going to buy me dinner now?" jokes.
  • Asked for a tea when the beverage cart came by. Got it just as the pilot announced "we are now beginning our decent. Please place your trays in their upright positions and prepare for landing." Subsequently had to chug hot tea.
  • Nearly yelled "DOWN IN FRONT!" at a child in the way of the Shrek Christmas movie they had playing at the gate.
  • Voucher said "Travelodge, Mcloud". Taxi driver said there were two on McLoud. Naturally, only one took the vouchers, and we went to the other first.
  • Fell asleep clutching my cell phone and laptop in a comfy chair in Second Cup.
Things that are happening now:
  • I'm going to bed.
Here's hoping I make it home for the holidays. I'd give just about anything to hug my parents and hold my baby niece right now.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

We're All The Stars Of Our Own TV Shows

I was accosted the other day on my way to work.

I had just stumbled off of my bus ride in my usual early morning zombie-like state and made my way to the street corner across from my work. I immediately noticed a few people standing around the corner with a tv camera aimed at them. Before I turned my head in an attempt to discretely walk by, I saw that it was two people collecting for the Salvation Army with a bell and a collection ball hanging thingy. I'm sure there is a more technical term somewhere.

Turns out it was someone from Citytv breakfast television trying to help the Salvation Army rep collect donations. I made the mistake of turning around and accidentally making eye contact which she used as her opportunity to ask me if I would like to donate anything to the Salvation Army. 50 cents, a dime, ANYTHING she says. Not wanting to be the jackass that turns down a charity, especially on tv, I dug out my wallet, faced the camera, and wished I had been a little bit more attentive with my make up that day.

When I put it in, the Citytv host asked me if there was anyone I wanted to say good morning to. Knowing that A) there would be nobody I knew who was watching that
station at that time and B) well...actually just point "A)" again, I stared terrified into the camera and said something resembling "uuuuuummmgggguhh...gooooood moooorning...uhhh....Edmonton???" to which she responded "Well said!"

I was actually able to retrieve a shot of me being on tv. Here is a screen shot of the incident:


After this, I swiftly walked into work extremely flustered and hoping nobody saw my tv debut.

Nikki wasn't in yet, so I went up and left a note on her desk saying "I was accosted this morning." but left it unsigned. She called me about 15 minutes later. Our conversation went like this:

Nikki: How were you accosted?

Lorraine: How did you know it was me?!

Nikki: Honestly Lorraine...you're the only person I know who would use the word "accosted."

She knows me too well.