Sunday, August 27, 2006

Damien Rice: The Blower's Daughter ('Closer' soundtrack)

I can't stop listening to this song; it's one of those songs that just moves me, touches me in that deep recess of my heart that I hide from everyone, including myself most of the time. One of those songs that makes you want to cry, not just because you feel sad, but happy and sad at the same time. One of those songs that draws life and emotion out in a long line and makes you feel overwhelmed by the enormity of it. I know most people won't get that from this song, and probably think this sounds exagerrated, but that's what it does to me, and that's how it makes me feel.

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time


And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most...of the time

And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody else

Monday, August 14, 2006

Pizza and Violence; You Know, A Typical Saturday Night

The other night, Shawn and I were sitting in Pizza Pizza after I whipped his ass at pool (Shawn if you're reading this, I'm just kidding. To anybody else reading, I am serious.) While I made unpleasant faces over the burnt bottom of my pizza, a situation began to transpire across the restaurant involving the only other people in the restaurant:

Stupid 18 year old meathead to 15 year old punk kid stick boy: What are YOU lookin' at?

15 year old punk kid stick boy: Nothing man...

Meathead proceeds to egg Stick Boy on further. Meathead's two friends start chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" with the exclamation marks and EVERYTHING.

Meathead starts pushing around Stick Boy. Stick Boy's 8 friends do nothing but surround him and watch.

Shawn and I exchange 'not knowing what to do' glances. I continue to watch the excitement like watching a movie, only with pizza instead of popcorn.

Once Stick Boy starts getting bloody as he clearly cannot defend himself well against this moron, Meathead's friend starts to panic.

Meathead's friend: Yo man, I know his brother, I know his brother! Let's get out of here!

Meathead and Co go to leave. Some of Stick Boy's friends go to leave too.

Stick Boy's Girl Friend to Me: This is crazyness!

Me: *stares blankly* Eats more pizza.

Meathead's friend#2 to Meathead: Dude, go back inside and get your hat and your other shoe man.

Meathead's friend #1 to pizza pizza guys: DON'T call the cops yo! DON'T call the cops!

Pizza Pizza guy calls the cops.

Meathead wanders back in and considers getting his shoe, which is in fact a flip flop. But upon seeing the kid again, and not wanting to lose face by walking out of the restaurant, he kicks his other flip flop off and advances again. When the flip flops come off, you know Meathead means business.

A cop soon arrives:

Cop: Alright everybody, break it up, break it up!! You *points to Stick Boy* sit THERE! Don't move! All you guys *motions to Stick Boys friends* sit down too!! You! *grabs Meathead by the neck...Meathead has fear behind his eyes* Are you on parole??

Meathead: Nah.

Cop: Are you sure?

Meathead: Yeah.

Cop: Cause you're big...you look like you would be on parole.

Stick Boy goes to get up.

Cop: SIT DOWN!!!!!!!!!

Stick Boy freezes and slowly sits back down.

One of Stick Boy's friends is talking loudly on his cell phone. The cop wanders over, takes the phone out of his hand, and hangs it up.

Stick Boy's friend: HEY, that was my mom!!

Cop: What are you all doing out so late, it's past your bed time.

Shawn and I: More munching on pizza.

Cop to us: Sorry to ruin your dinner folks.

Shawn: Just doin' your job.

Me: *thumbs up*

Shawn to me: Well...thank you for a lovely evening.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Dogsitting

Friday night I officially began my tenure as 'dog sitter' for my friend Kali and her family. I know all of 5 breeds of dogs so I won't try to label what kind he is, although I'm pretty sure he's a husky mixed with something or possibly a few things.

My first encounter with the dog had me laughing my head off. I struggled with the padlock (and later with the cage itself) to open it and let him out, but he was so overcome with excitement that he backed up, pushed the back of it open and walked out to greet me. He kissed me and jumped on me as I sat baffled with the closed padlock still in my hand. What, did you just put yourself back in when you heard me walk in the door?? Smart puppy. I also don't know what it is with dog cages, but I can't figure out how to open the damn things. This is sad for many reasons, the most obvious being that even the dogs I watch can figure out how to open them.

Yesterday I took Max to our family picnic and he was quite the celebrity. Upon telling Kali this she said "well, that was a mistake." Quite the contrary...my family loved him. "He's such a well behaved dog!" Kali's reaction: "REALLY!?"

When I returned that night to put him in his crate so I could stop off at home, he started barking and whining like he was being tortured. I could hear him grapling with the padlock in a vain attempt to escape. My animal sympathies got the best of me and I figured it would be ok to let him out for just a few hours while I was gone.

I returned later that night to find him thrilled to see me, and to see that excitement almost instantaneously dissolve to shame and embarassment as I discovered what he had done. I don't know how or where he got them, but he managed to get into a box of tea bags of all things. They were ripped open and nicely matted into the carpet of the computer room, as if he were making a finger painting for me (paw painting?). This time he had no objections to going into his crate as punishment. Kali told me one time they got home to find him go right into his crate because he knew he'd done something wrong. It's like the temptation is too much for him at the time but he's so disciplined he punishes himself.

Last night he slept at my feet and periodically licked my hand to wake me up and see if I felt like getting up yet. "Soon Max...soon." I fed him at 10:00 and went back to bed till 2:00. Hey, family get togethers are tiring events!

Today we went for a walk and I threw around the tennis ball for him. Before we left I had a hell of a time trying to find my car keys so I could lock the house up. I finally found them, of all places, in the keyhole of the front door. It's a good thing I made sure all the doors were locked last night. My car could have gotten stolen or I could have been raped and murdered. Luckily for me, all I ended up with was a slap on the head as I called myself various insulting names.

I'm having a lot of trouble trying to get him to pee and poo on command or when he is supposed to go. "For the love of gawd Max, please activate your bowels...it's for my well being as well as yours!!" Max doesn't listen to my begging. But he will drop the tennis ball in my lap as if to say "nah...I think I'll play instead."

He also threw up this morning. And I broke their sprinkler. Yeah. Don't think I'm going to be invited back.

I least I got free ketchup pringles out of the ordeal.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up

I bought a bike. Well, it's really the bike that my dad owes me for graduating grade 8 that I ended up buying for myself. He bought the helmet and light as compensation. (Yes, I have a helmet, light, AND a bell...it's the law people...the LAW...well...except the helmet part. You only have to wear one up to age 18. But really, who would take the risk of having their brains strewn all over the sidewalk?? Is it really worth it?? Always wear your brain bucket my friends. Brains are NOT meant for sidewalk decoration. That is why we have sidewalk chalk.)

Right. Now that the tangeant is over with, I bought a bike. It's a pretty bike, black and grey, lots of speeds and stuff...not that I really know that much about bikes, cause I really don't. I know it's a good quality bike and I can take it on trails or just for a stroll around the block if I so choose. It also came with a free water bottle and cage. Did you know that they have backpack water bottle things called camels? You just drink out of a straw that goes to your mouth and wear the water on your back...how cool is that?

Right. Now that THAT tangeant is over with, I bought a bike. I took it out two days ago over to Diana's. Now you must understand, I have only ridden a bike once since about graaade 5 or 6. So my confidence with said bike was as shaky as the handlebars under my grasp. I went slow and maneuvered over to the only busy intersection I would inevitably hit on my journey. The little crosswalk guy flashed and off I went with my pedestrian's (biker's?) right of way.

It was at this time that I noticed from my peripheral vision a truck approaching; he would have been running parallel with me had he not been turning left, into my path. He showed no sign of stopping, and we both hit our brakes at the same time. However, I think I hit mine a little harder than his. My bike jolted to a stop due to the brand new sensitive brakes, and I jolted with it; only instead of staying grounded on the bike, I somehow was jolted off of it. I couldn't put my foot down to find my balance and before I knew it, I had toppled over with my bike on top of me. After a brief moment of humiliation and realization of pain, I stumbled to my feet in time to hear the guy in the truck say "are you alright?" But not in a very concerned tone...more in a "if you're not dead I'm moving on" type of tone. Jerkface. Yes, his face was indeed that of a jerk's.

After licking my wounds on the sidewalk (not literally...clearly...OBVIOUSLY...) I pushed back some tears and kept onward. My leg is pretty badly bruised in two places but other than that I was fine. My first bike battle wounds. *sentimental sigh*

My issue is, I always feel like when I try something new I'm going to fail horribly at it. (Classic old fear of rejection type thing I guess). That's why it was so important that I go back today.

I totally took on that intersection and showed it who was boss. Oh yes. My performance was flawless. It included checking all areas around me and assuming that cars think I am invisible. My bike tires gracefully kissed the pavement as they glided me along to safety. I would have triumphantly thrown my arms in the air, however doing so I am sure would have caused serious injury or death. Thus the celebration stayed confined to my head...until I could let it overflow here. GET IT?? OVERFLOW?!? Booya...I'm going to bed.