The other night, Shawn and I were sitting in Pizza Pizza after I whipped his ass at pool (Shawn if you're reading this, I'm just kidding. To anybody else reading, I am serious.) While I made unpleasant faces over the burnt bottom of my pizza, a situation began to transpire across the restaurant involving the only other people in the restaurant:Stupid 18 year old meathead to 15 year old punk kid stick boy: What are YOU lookin' at?
15 year old punk kid stick boy: Nothing man...
Meathead proceeds to egg Stick Boy on further. Meathead's two friends start chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" with the exclamation marks and EVERYTHING.
Meathead starts pushing around Stick Boy. Stick Boy's 8 friends do nothing but surround him and watch.
Shawn and I exchange 'not knowing what to do' glances. I continue to watch the excitement like watching a movie, only with pizza instead of popcorn.
Once Stick Boy starts getting bloody as he clearly cannot defend himself well against this moron, Meathead's friend starts to panic.
Meathead's friend: Yo man, I know his brother, I know his brother! Let's get out of here!
Meathead and Co go to leave. Some of Stick Boy's friends go to leave too.
Stick Boy's Girl Friend to Me: This is crazyness!
Me: *stares blankly* Eats more pizza.
Meathead's friend#2 to Meathead: Dude, go back inside and get your hat and your other shoe man.
Meathead's friend #1 to pizza pizza guys: DON'T call the cops yo! DON'T call the cops!
Pizza Pizza guy calls the cops.
Meathead wanders back in and considers getting his shoe, which is in fact a flip flop. But upon seeing the kid again, and not wanting to lose face by walking out of the restaurant, he kicks his other flip flop off and advances again. When the flip flops come off, you know Meathead means business.
A cop soon arrives:
Cop: Alright everybody, break it up, break it up!! You *points to Stick Boy* sit THERE! Don't move! All you guys *motions to Stick Boys friends* sit down too!! You! *grabs Meathead by the neck...Meathead has fear behind his eyes* Are you on parole??
Meathead: Nah.
Cop: Are you sure?
Meathead: Yeah.
Cop: Cause you're big...you look like you would be on parole.
Stick Boy goes to get up.
Cop: SIT DOWN!!!!!!!!!
Stick Boy freezes and slowly sits back down.
One of Stick Boy's friends is talking loudly on his cell phone. The cop wanders over, takes the phone out of his hand, and hangs it up.
Stick Boy's friend: HEY, that was my mom!!
Cop: What are you all doing out so late, it's past your bed time.
Shawn and I: More munching on pizza.
Cop to us: Sorry to ruin your dinner folks.
Shawn: Just doin' your job.
Me: *thumbs up*
Shawn to me: Well...thank you for a lovely evening.
2 comments:
It really was a lovely evening, filled with winning and fights. Good times were had all around, except maybe for Stick Boy.
That was gripping! I want to know what happened to Meathead and his band of Merry Morons. Plus it made me think of drunken Pizza Pizza nights of old..stealing the dipping sauce bottles and life size promotional cutouts of Homer Simpson...sigh...now they make you PAY for the dipping sauce like a sucker.
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