A Surprise Around Every Corner. Well, One In Particular.

It was an average night after an average work day when Nikki and I decided to go for some average food at an average restaurant. We finished a scrum-diddly-umptious meal and headed out into the parking lot, giggling about something that I'm sure only we would find humorous. We turned to go around the corner of the building, and stopped dead in our tracks. Here is the conversation that immediately took place:

Lorraine: Um. That's a penis. That man has his penis out. 

Nikki: ...and he is peeing.

We abruptly turn around and walk back the way we came. Nikki is laughing uncontrollably. I am in a state of shock.

Nikki: I didn't see anything except the stream.

Lorraine: I noticed IT first and THEN the stream! He wasn't even using his hands to aim! He was just STANDING there! I don't know whether to be impressed or disgusted!! No wait, definitely disgusted!

I start gagging. Nikki laughs harder at me gagging, because for some reason, it's hilarious to her.

Lorraine: I really hate Edmonton sometimes.

Luckily when we went around the other way to my car, mysterious drunken peeing guy had disappeared. But I still gagged, (and Nikki still laughed) alllll the way home.

Ketchup Love

*Conversation over a breakfast sandwhich at Tim Hortons. With ketchup.*

Nikki: Why do you love ketchup so much?

Lorraine:...why do you love your BOYFRIEND so much??

Nikki: Because...he's pretty amazing.

Lorraine: Yeah, well, so is ketchup.

More Blonde Moments With Nikki

Via msn:

Me: Don't let me forget, I have to fast tomorrow.

Nikki: Why??

Me: I have to get some blood work done on my lunch hour and I have to fast twelve hours before.

Nikki: Oh. You're going on your lunch?

Me: Yeah, it's at 12:40.

Nikki: Oh.

Me: So yeah, I can't eat past midnight tonight.

Nikki: Ah...I was trying to figure it out. I was counting on my fingers and everything.

Me: Umm...if you add or subtract twelve hours to a time, it's still the same number...3 a.m. plus twelve hours is 3 p.m...

Nikki: ...leave me alone!

Vacationers Beware...

...or you may come back to work and find your office decked out like one of these! Below are authentic pictures of offices from my work that have been decorated while their occupant was away on vacation.  Please note the careful attention to detail.

I wonder how many rolls of tin foil that took? It reminds me of that episode of Mr. Bean when he decides to paint and wraps his entire apartment in newspaper so he can light a stick of dynamite in a paint can. I wish I'd remembered that before I painted my living room.

 

Office camping!! Also handy if you work late and need to stay at work overnight.

The stuffed bear covered while the director was on vacation. According to the paw prints, he can defy gravity. Now that's a bear you want in charge.

Maxipads. Why? I have no idea. Also, I have no idea about the mouse or rat on the screen.

I've saved the best for last. There are a few impressive things here. Somehow (I have NO idea how) they got a real tub and toilet in the office, but not before first laying down the tile.

Michelle enjoys her newly decorated office, complete with toilet paper.  Hopefully she has hand sanitizer handy.