Hospital Humour

Yesterday Nikki and I had the pleasant experience of spending essentially the whole day at the hospital. It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't of been doubling over in pain and I wasn't weathered down with what I had just discovered was strep throat, a nasty sinus infection, and a nose bleed that was on the verge of needing to be cauterized. (Dry Alberta weather + sinus infection = Lorraine thinking she must be hemorrhaging from the brain.) But no, we could not be free to enjoy the multitudes of sick (and strange) people, rude receptionists and doctors, and the maze that is finding radiology. Something was wrong with Nikki, and we had to find out what.

After being guided from hallway to hallway, wrong room to wrong room, we finally found where we were supposed to be only to be told to go to the front of the hospital and go through patient registration. Back through the maze we went and got in line.

There was a sign posted at the front of reception:

MATERNITY VISITING HOURS

Friends and extended family: 4 - 8

Siblings and grandparents: 11 - 9

Father: Anytime

Nikki made a seemingly logical observation: "What about the mother?"

Lorraine: "Well...it's 'maternity' visiting hours, so...I'm pretty sure she'd already be there."

Nikki: "Oh yeah. Ha. I'm an idiot."

No Nikki, you are not. You do, however, have blonde hair...

Text of the Day

After texting Nikki for awhile while I am on the bus on my way to work, she writes:

"You're sitting on the bus beside a creep while you have a bloody nose...and I'm falling into holes. No wonder we're friends."

For Sale

One (1) soul.

-rarely used
-excellent condition
-would make lovely shelf display
-can be twisted into a cute balloon animal
-bulletproof
-comes in many different colours; most notably blue, grey, and black.
-free shipping
-no warranty available

Seller would like to sell as soon as possible. $3/obo.

Recap

SO. Last post on this blog = August 2007 eh. Interesting. I wonder if I had any loyal readers who didn't know me and wondered what happened to me. What interesting explanations would they have come up with? Ran away to join the circus? Went to clown college? Went to clown college THEN ran away to join the circus? (Logically, that would make more sense, no?)

Alas, I am alive and well. However, in the last seven months, I have....*deep breath...*

Packed up my little neon, moved across the country to Edmonton Alberta which was a lovely little adventure in and of itself involving beautiful scenery across Ontario, flat scenery across the prairies, exquisite accommodations such as The Beaver Motel, visited long lost friends along the way, kept track of gas prices across the country and how they sky rocketed the further north in Ontario you go, had a truck driver request me to take a picture of him, saw huge statues of a goose and a sasquatch, and had my GPS tell me to turn into fields once I got into Edmonton.

Since I have been in Edmonton I have....*deep breath*

Spent a month puttering around and annoying the family I rent the basement from 'til I ran out of money and had to get a job which I still hold downtown in the oil industry and quite enjoy, met my awesome best friend Nikki (also my new music guru) and her awesome sister who are my partners in crime both at work and on weekends and essentially let me live at their apartment every weekend, started dating a boy, debated nominating our relationship for the "most miscommunication and worst timing of a relationship of the year" award (which we SO would have won), tried skiing for the first time in years and only fell when trying to get on the ski lift and then at the end of our very last run when I almost collided with the rental shop, tried snowboarding for the first time in Fernie BC and fell a whole lot more, experienced the coldest temperature I have in my life, had my car towed because I never felt like paying for parking, (I HATE YOU IMPARK!), got over my fear of public transit, started writing songs and poetry and playing guitar again, gotten hooked on "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" and "Extras", mocked the Calgary Tower for being a miniature CN Tower, become an Oiler's fan, got a free ticket to an Avril Lavigne concert BUT also saw Alexisonfire, went to Yuk Yuk's by myself to see Greg Proops whose autograph is now on my wall AND......found $20 on the bar floor!!!! Meeting someone famous or finding that $20...I really can't decide which is better.

I know you are all now jealous that you don't live in Edmonton too. Unless you do. In which case...you are probably sans said jealousy.

Right now I am going to...*deep breath*

...go to bed.

BUT watch for more updates! The blog wheels are a turnin' in my head! The next post will either be about healing alarm clocks or cheap pregnancy tests! I haven't quite decided yet. But BOY if that isn't incentive to check back, I don't know what is!