Monday, August 31, 2009

Cards For Coworkers

This email from Nikki, my fellow stuck-behind-a-desk-all-day friend, totally made my Friday afternoon:

K, so get this! I just got a card thrown at me to sign, and I assumed it was a birthday card because we celebrate EVERYONE'S birthday. Anyway, I signed it saying "Happy Birthday” and it turns out it was a Going Away card.

“You’ll be missed!”
“Good luck!”
“Happy Birthday!”

Oops.

I know I'm going to hell for saying this, but the only thing that could have possibly made this funnier was if it was a bereavement card:

"I'm so sorry for your loss."
"You're in our thoughts and prayers."
"Happy Birthday!"

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

New Methods For That Caffeine Fix

via text messages:

Nolan: Pumped for another exciting day at work?

Me: I was thinking about injecting coffee directly into my veins.

Nolan: Oh yeah? Weird...I was going to grind it and snort it.