Office Smack Talk

I recently got Laura, one of my best friends, a job at my work. Which means the days are a little less boring. And by a little, I mean a lot. We like to spice things up by emailing each other quotes from The Office throughout the day and making hap hazard paper airplanes to throw at each other when no one's looking.

So, in our comfy little accounting department, we have these two stamps, one to fill info out to enter an invoice and one to fill out info for paying an invoice. Today after some of Laura's usual smack talk, I menacingly held up the stamps to her and said:

"I will TOTALLY enter you and pay you."

"Lorraine...think about what you just said."

*pause*

"...OH MY GAWD!!!!!"

Toronto, Kyle Wellwood, Sushi, Shoplifting, and Darrin Pfieffer. Good Weekend.

This past Thursday night, at approximately 9:38 pm, an insatiable urge to have a night out in Toronto hit me, and hit hard. So I called up my Toronto friend who lives right downtown and asked what he was doing the next night. I soon figured out he was at the pub due to how long it took him to put words together. But he assured me he wasn't drunk and we finally concluded that I would visit and we'd go out and do something. Friday night I called again to confirm and he said "I wasn't sure if I'd dreamt that conversation or not." Never make plans with a drunk person. Although the view from his condo is enough reason to forgive him:


Before I drove to Toronto, I stopped by to see Laura who was home sick in bed. She was supposed to have a roller derby bout the next day (also her birthday) but her doctor thought she had mono, so she couldn't play. Well, she could, but not without the risk of rupturing her spleen. Spleens are unpleasant enough when they are intact. Also, Kyle Wellwood, her all time favourite Maple Leafs player (who she is also in love with) was supposed to be signing autographs at the new Future Shop in Erin Mills the same day. While she was lying down, I snuck into her closet and stole her Wellwood jersey, and two pictures she had of him. Thankfully she didn't notice. The next day I got them signed and took a video clip of him wishing her a happy birthday/hoping she feels better. I burned it on a cd for her, along with some pictures I took of him. Here is the video of Wellwood: (please note his enthusiasm)

http://www.motionbox.com/video/player/359cd9b1181dbe



Now here is the video of Laura opening my present, which I enjoy much more than the previous video. I missed the part where she first figured out what I had done but got most of the surprise in:

http://www.motionbox.com/video/player/359fd7bd1a1ebe


Other notable parts of my weekend:

• Tried sushi for the first time and gagged. Although I do like sakki
• I accidentally stole a camera lens cleaner pen from Future Shop. But I felt so bad that I had mindlessly walked out of the store with it that I went back in and paid for it, after a good five minute internal moral debate
• Two words: Home Movies.
• Apparently Darrin Pfeiffer from Goldfinger thinks I'm hot. GREATEST COMPLIMENT EVER. Although I think he might need glasses...
• Dawn is working at 102.1 the Edge and I am JEALOUS. But it was awesome seeing her again. But I am JEALOUS.

The Awesomeness That Is LA and Coachella

I think I'll move to California. I meant to bring it home with me in my suitcase, but it just wouldn't fit, no matter how much I sat on the top and yanked on the zipper. Plus, try sneaking that through customs.

Highlights Of My Trip:
-Meeting cool friendly people from all over the world who I thoroughly plan on staying in touch with
-Rage Against the mother f'n Machine
-Seeing multiple awesome bands every day (Do I use the word awesome too much??)
-Going in the pit at Rage. Until I got elbowed in the chest and had the wind knocked out of me. I like being able to breathe.
-Making fun of some dragon movie they showed on my flight to LA
-Not getting mugged/murdered/raped when trying to find my hotel in LA
-Driving down the interstate on a beautiful warm sunny day in a mustang convertible with palm trees lining the side of the freeway
-Driving into a parked car four hours before my flight home while going on three hours of sleep in two days and after I had driven it all over LA, Hollywood, on the Interstate and to Coachella which is a few hours out of the city. I felt like the universe was laughing at me, but I couldn't help laughing too. After a few choice words, that is. Thank God I bought the insurance
-Regina Spector: my new female musical icon
-Staying up all night partying with people from all over the world
-Having some guy steal my malibu rum as compensation for not being able to get into my pants. He was wearing a striped shirt that made him look like Waldo. I found it funny that I was playing a real life Where's Waldo when looking for him the next day to kick him in the shin
-The girl camp official person who was sent to "disperse" us saying "it's funny that they don't know I'm on shrooms" and then joining us
-When telling people I'm from Canada hearing them say "there are SO many Canadians here!" We took over the place, along with the Aussies and British
-Finding "I love my pony" with an obscene drawing written in dirt on the back window of my car when we went to leave Coachella
-Blatantly passing our alcohol over the fence into the campgrounds and not getting caught
-Having my tequila confiscated on the way in to the festival
-Having the son of the hotel owner offer to fly me down to LA whenever I want....? Also finding out he collects tractors. It's different, I'll give him that.
-Picking up an English accent from Johny and his friend James (although apparently it was a southern one and they have a northern one...?)
-Napping on the grass in the cool tent while listening to good music fill the air
-Singing Sublime songs in a circle of strangers with a guitar until the early hours of the morning
-Seeing police in riot gear
-Apparently a chopper told people to disperse or they'll be arrested when they formed a drum circle
-Dancing with some blonde guy from London. Having him make fun of me for asking London Ontario or London England
-Squirt bottles in the "will call" line with Aussies. Also playing Uno with them while waiting
-Chillin' at the pad of our new friends from LA which looked like it was from a movie. It was so LA. I can say that 'cause I've been there now.
-Getting lost amidst some really really nice houses while looking for the f'n Hollywood sign
-Johny getting soaked by some waves when climbing the rocks at Venice Beach
-Always being able to find my tent by looking for the big tent with the pirate flag next to our site

There was more but those are the moments off the top of my head. Right now it's competing with my trip to England/Scotland for being the best trip of my life. Possibly the best experience of my life. Johny was right when he said festival people are the coolest people you will ever meet. And who knew camping would be half the fun of the festival?

I have tones of awesome pictures and video clips but you'll have to look at them on Facebook since I'm too lazy to upload them here. www.facebook.com and look for Lorraine Conley. I should be the only one. I got some great shots, so take a look.

Already planning Coachella reunion 2008.