WARNING: STORES THAT CLAIM TO BE OPEN 24 HOURS, HAVE OPEN DOORS, LIGHTS ON AND MUSIC PLAYING AND NO SIGNS TO INDICATE THEY ARE NOT OPEN MAY, IN FACT, ACTUALLY NOT BE OPEN.
Whew...glad I could warn you in time.
Thursday night we ventured off to the T-dot for my birthday. (T-dot = Toronto for those of you who aren't familiar with our ghetto slang). First we hit dinner at this upscale italian restaurant, then we hit the Mod Club. After we hit it, we actually went inside. BAHAHAHA. Ahhhh....*cough*
On the way to dinner, we walk past some creepy old Toronto guys in a truck who roll down their window to talk to us. It went like this: Guys: "Helloooo." Me: "Goodbyyyye." Diana: "Lorraine, don't be mean!" Me: "You're right...we'll probably get shot doing that here..." Diana: "Shhhh!!" *looks around cautiously* Me: "Hehehehe."
At the club, Diana got hit on and informed the guy she had a boyfriend and pushed me to him instead. Clearly he wasn't happy with this alternative as he turned away not long after. As I was complaining about this Diana decides to prove me wrong by bringing a random drunk guy sitting near us into the equation who previously said to us, and a I quote,"I am like a spider".
She asks him "she doesn't think she's pretty, don't you think she is??" Drunk guy rambles on, and keeps trying to get me to dance with him. I whisper to Diana that drunk people do not count and politely decline as best as I can.
Off we go to the car and make an effort to find water and washrooms. Dominion we think should solve both of these problems. The automatic door isn't working, but some guy comes up next to us and pulls the other door open, walks in, and we follow. We quickly note the lack of washrooms, which is not welcoming news for Dave who is on the verge of wetting himself.
We venture to the water bottle aisle where a cop soon approaches us; "Have you seen any staff working here?" Us: "No...not yet..." Cop: "Well, there's a good reason for that, we think the store is closed." (I suppose by this time in the morning it's technically Good Friday). We start laughing our asses off and he's laughing a bit too, and tells us to stay put while he tries to contact a manager. Meanwhile another officer has rounded up the first guy who came in and we all stand around together like herded sheep...at this point I don't even care if I get arrested just cause it would make a hilarious birthday story. He takes our ID's but I don't have mine on me, he says he'll take my word for it:
"Birthdate?" "Today, 1985."
Dave: "Can I leave for just a second to find a washroom?" Officer: ".......no."
Other guy: "I'm not giving you my ID, I haven't done anything wrong." Officer: "Well we're going to have to arrest you for breaking and entering then." I think to myself: It wasn't breaking and entering...aren't we really just guilty of entering??
The cop tells us we were caught on camera by CTV news. I didn't get to see it. But man would I kill to have a copy of that clip. They also caught a lady stealing a bouquet of flowers. Come on, if you're going to steal something at least make it good. I wish I'd grabbed a bag or something as a souvenir. They let us go not long after and I giggled all the way home.
Lesson learned: If the first door is locked, the second one probably should be too.
1 comment:
I can't believe I didn't send you birthday greetings. After all, there is no excuse for forgetting since we were born on the same day. Alas, it is almost May and here I am to send you some love. HAPPY [late] BIRTHDAY, LORRAINE! I hope you're doing well.
joel
PS You look great in that picture! I say again what I've said before - there are few people as photogenic as you.
Post a Comment