One Month's Notice

I just gave my one month's notice at my job here.

Initial thoughts:

• I'm hungry
• What the crap am I going to do now
• I hope that by being off of work I don't get my days and nights backward again
• As much as I have a love/hate relationship with my job and place of work, I think I might actually miss it, in a really anal-retentive way. I've gotten used to the routine and redundancy of it...it's familiar and I know what I'm doing and know how to do it well.
• My boss was really really nice about me leaving and said although she doesn't want to see me go that she thinks I'm doing the right thing and that I'll always have a place here
• I don't think it will really sink in for another month; I don't feel that different
• I'm going to have to get all my personal crap off this computer; especially those nudey pics!
• I've left a BIG pile of "mail to cancel" for whoever replaces me
• OOOOOOO THERE ARE CUTE LANDSCAPING BOYS OUTSIDE!!! God bless these huge windows in reception!
• Can't think...still watching cute boys...
• I hope I'm doing the right thing
• What will I do with all this useless knowledge in my head?

One thought this whole quitting thing keeps bringing to mind is what in the world do people DO? It's brought out this whole philosophical debate in me! And I can't help but wonder...what is the point in anything at all? We work and work to keep the world turning and running, but why? Just to stay alive? Why do we want to stay alive aside from a biological instinct to? I just don't see the big point in everything...does that make sense at all? We procreate so that our children can do the same thing...we toil around and work jobs to sustain us to do...what? To watch tv in our spare time and then retire when we have enough money? Is happiness really the point of life like so many people claim? Sucking up every enjoyable thing out of life because nothing else matters? I can't accept that. There has to be something more. I just have no idea what it is. And therefore no idea what I'm going to do when I'm done my job. One thing I do know; I'll probably have the money to do whatever it is. Which makes me temporarily happy.

If anybody knows what life is all about, please let me know...cause I'm drawing a blank. Thanks. Word.

Back to pointless work.

Fun In The Sun

The sun and I are not on speaking terms right now.

It had the nerve to fry almost every section of skin on my body yesterday. Laura and her boyfriend, Mel and her boyfriend visiting from Thunderbay, and Jen and I headed off to Port Dover yesterday and later to Niagara Falls with Robyn, Nathan and Dale. I took a much needed vacation day from work (may as well use up that vacation time right?) and reluctantly put on my bathing suit to sit out in the sun. I remember closing my eyes and enjoying the breeze, the warm sun on my body and the sound of the waves hitting the shore and thinking "this is so relaxing...I'm probably getting burned right now but I don't care...plus it doesn't really feel like it...it just feels nice..." Be ye not so foolish! The sun will use it's warmth as a distraction while it fries you to a crisp! And no amount of lying in bed with cold compresses and your limbs covered in aloe vera will relieve that!

Today as I sit at work typing this (employee of the month right here!) I wonder what everyone is thinking seeing me sunburnt and knowing I took a day off of work yesterday. I'm wondering if it's ok to let them know that I did indeed take a day off for myself to visit my friends and go to the beach as one of my owed vacation days, or if I should hide this fact and pretend I was sick or something. I figure I'm not going to take a huge chunk of time off of work, why not use a day here and there?

Fun from yesterday included but is not limited to:

• Mel stradling the beach umbrella in a vain attempt to make it stay in the sand
• Bringing bottle upon bottle of booze to the beach but only using half of one
• Learning that sun and alcohol do not mix
• Taking pictures of everybody trying on Jeff's uber big funky glasses while he was obliviously swimming
• "There goes the crazy barking kid again"
• Jeff, who is visiting from freaking ThunderBay, running into some people that he knows at the beach, and all of us who are from the area not meeting anyone we know
• "I want the British guy instead"
• While waiting in line for the ferris wheel at Niagara Falls making a joke about how the cars should have air conditioning, then discovering upon embarking that they actually DO have air conditioning...
• Paying $15 for a burger which was supposed to come with fries, but having to pay $4.00 extra just to substitute fries with a house salad. Come the FRIG on...
• Almost being run over by a truck in Screamers.
• Saying to the guy that grabbed my leg in Screamers "aren't you glad I waxed?"
• My mom calling me on the way to the beach to say "please please please please please please please please wear sunscreen..." and rubbing it in my face when I got home...(it's my fault, I accept it.)
• Jen being my date for the afternoon since we were only with two couples.
• Laura to Jeff: "THAT'S IT, go home to Thunderbay!" Me to Jeff: "It's ok, she always says that...she's CONSTANTLY telling me to go home to Thunderbay..." Jeff: "OH are you from Thunderbay too?" Me: "....no...I was just trying to make you feel better..."
• Laura: "What's the little waterfall to the right of the American Falls called?" Robyn: "The titty falls." Laura: "ROBYN for the last time, it's not called the titty falls!!"
• Mel accidentally spraying moose all over her because she thought it was hairspray

Work is not fun with sun stroke, thank God for tylenol...take THAT sun!

I've affectionately named this creature "towel face"

Mel and Jeff: a mutual love for large sunglasses

Mel: "I can't look, the sun's too bright!"

We should have kept those glasses, Laura

Laura and Jen
"I'm bored...let's take pictures."

Robyn and Mel. Robin? Robyn.....Robyn.

Thunderbay kooties...watch out, they're contagious! (Can you tell it's late and I can't think of good captions...I'm so going to bed.)

The concludes the picture segment of the post. Please go about your normal business.

Helping Laura with a resignation letter

Here are some phrases I suggested to Laura:

• This job sucks balls. Not even human balls, but the balls of some obscure animal in Africa. Kindly take it and shove it up an orrufus on your body of your choosing.
• The numerous times I have laughed and made fun of you behind your back have almost made the crappiness of this job worth suffering through. Almost, but not quite.
• Thank you kindly for the opportunity to work here. However, given the present circumstances, I no longer feel masochistic enough to force myself to continue to work here.
• At this point in my life it is time that I move on to other things. Things that may or may not involve pie...I haven't decided yet.
• You would be more useful as a manager if you just sat around criticising people and slept with the waitresses. I know I know, that's all you do as it is, but...erm...uhh...I forget my point...
• I think you might be gay and I feel no shame in having told everybody who came into the restaurant my thoughts.
• Here is a gift certificate for some counselling. You don't have to thank me, I just thought you should have it for...you know...your thing with fish...I didn't tell anybody...well nobody really...
• I would rather have a papsmear with a rake than continue to work here.
• For every time you slapped my ass when I walked by I slipped a cockroach into your food
• I truly appreciate your guidance and the new skills you have taught me. Thanks to you, I can now successfully: hire based on breast size, berate customers behind their backs, sexually harass the staff, and sit around doing nothing while everybody else works harder to compensate for my lack of effort. These universal skills will no doubt assist in furthering my career no matter what direction it takes. Thank you...truly.

Sarcasm...where would we be without you.

Hope I helped Laura, good luck!

If you're a guy, don't read this

Have you seen that playtex commercial?? The one that starts off with a female construction worker jackhammering (nice and politically correct...because women are very empowered nowadays) and the laughing and the theme song "It's an ordinary, ordinary day..." Yeah, that commercial, if you're a girl you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're a guy don't read the next sentence. (Well you shouldn't be reading this anyway if you heeded the warning in the subject line...this sentence doesn't count as the "next" sentence referred to in the previous sentence.) Ok so said commerical bothers me a lot...sure, it's an ordinary day all right...except I'm BLEEDING THROUGH MY UTERUS...what the hell is ordinary about that?? Natural, blah blah, whatever...try telling a bloated women who can't walk from her cramps with hormones raging through her body causing her to change not from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde but from Jesus to Satan that it's just an ordinary day. I THINK NOT!

Also, I don't know about you, but I always feel like doing yoga and going skinny dipping when I'm on my period...I also never stop smile and giggling and being euphorically happy...JUST LIKE THE GIRLS ON THE COMMERCIALS! Coincidence? I think not. Especially since I'm being sarcastic.

The thing that really bothers me is the same thing with women's anti-perspirant commercials...they try to sell you that you should use their product because you're a strong independent woman. "Strong enough for a man, but made for a women." Apparently that wasn't politically correct enough though so now it's just "strong enough for a woman." Who needs to be compared to those beastly men creatures...we are women, hear us roar.

Independent strong women don't need it sold to them that they are independent strong women. Nor does being an independant strong woman have anything to do with tampons or anti-perspirant. A better ad campaign: "When it's NOT an ordinary day, use our product."

I leave you with one of my favourite jokes that I seldom get to make:
"Where did my pencil go? And why is there a tampon behind my ear??"

A Quick Update

It's been awhile. Let's get caught up:

• My parents have been away for three weeks on a meditteranean cruise. The only time I talked to them was when my dad called into work to talk to someone besides me and I answered the phone. I was excited at the prospect of having to do my own cooking, cleaning and laundry, but the novelty of independence wore off within the first week.
• I bought The Office (American version) Season 1 on DVD. My life is now complete.
• I'm still miserable at my job but some added attention from my supervisor and having some major problems get solved and transfering some of my workload to the people who are actually supposed to be doing it has helped a lot.
• I'm going to see the Arctic Monkeys again tomorrow night (sold out show, woot!) AND possibly stopping by the national tattoo exhibition.
• Yesterday at work I found a file called "Duck Face" in the accounts payable folder on the accounting drive. I found this...well...very humourous.
• Yesterday I thought up two lines that I find amusing: "You're not an idiot you retard" (directed at my lovely friend Kali) and "I don't have to insult your intelligence; you do a good enough job at that yourself." I'm s-m-r-t.
• I still like stuff
• My brother got married to the lovely Larissa. They are happy, we are all happy and no she is not pregnant. Pictures to come.

That's all for now...as you were.